01 May My Story
Where do I even begin?
Well, I’m a very proud single mom of two wonderful teenaged daughters.
But that picture has changed its frame many times over the years.
After much soul searching, and much counselling, my ex—husband and I decided to call it quits in March of 2009. It was a tough decision and even tougher to tell the girls, who were 8 and 10 years old at the time.
Over the years, so many people have asked me how I knew I was ready to take that step. And to be honest, there’s no easy answer. A therapist that I had been working with, long before my actual separation, once told me that I knew what I needed to do but still had to figure out when I was ready to do it. I believe that I’m actually quite fortunate, because one day, I just knew it was time.
The first year after my separation, things were quite amicable between us. I think that was a blessing because it gave my girls some time to adjust to a completely new reality.
Unfortunately, about a year into the separation, the calm waters were suddenly and unexpectedly over. Financial realities set in and months of stormy legal weather rained down upon the next few months.
Tensions rose, communication disintegrated and co-parenting fizzled out. Months of failed mediation rolled into rising legal bills.
I can remember bringing my Dad to one of the first meetings with my lawyer. I wanted an objective and unemotional third-party present to hear what I wasn’t able to at that time. By nature, I’m very emotional during times of stress. And I’m a fighter so sure enough, my warrior mode kicked into high gear. Having my Dad there certainly helped, but I realized that as my father he was naturally protective of me and still too emotionally involved in the process.
At the eleventh hour, in a small conference room at the courthouse, moments before appearing before a judge, the lawyers from both sides finally managed to bring us to a settlement. Many concessions were made on both sides. But sadly, this agreement did not stand the test of time, and four years later, round two of the legal negotiations took place. It was like getting divorced twice, from the same person, without ever having gotten back together!
After hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars, too much lost sleep and too many compromises, my personal legal battles are finally over. When all this began, I didn’t really have any friends or family members who had been through a divorce, to turn to for advice.
Over the years, countless people have reached out to me for advice, from some of my closest friends to schoolyard acquaintances. It was while helping a good friend through her own legal battles that Divorce Direction was born. The first time she looked at me and said “You should do this as a business. I mean really do this!” I just laughed and shrugged it off. But months later, with her legal issues still not over, she brought it up again. And that’s when I realized that not only “should” I be doing this, but that I’ve already been doing it for the last eight years.
After many days in court, countless visits to lawyers, edits to motions, composing of emails, phone calls and more, I know I am that objective and unbiased third party who can get you through your own divorce – less stressed, less anxious, less sleep deprived and definitely a lot less financially drained by the end of the process!
I know I can help you so please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I offer a complimentary one hour first meeting live or by phone and I’m here to listen.